Knowing Your Worth

Do you know where you find your worth? No, really stop and think about it. What makes you feel valuable?

Is it your relationships? Your job? Your looks? Really sit and ask yourself what it is in your life that makes you feel like you are worth something. What thing, when it isn’t going well, makes you feel less valuable as a person. Or what thing is missing that you believe would make you feel so much better if only you possessed it?

We all have our thing(s) that make us feel like we are worthy of even existing in this world. Things that we long for, strive for, dream of, cling to.

I think that for those of us who have experienced a broken marriage we tend to tie our worth to the love and acceptance of other people, especially romantic love. I’ve experienced it. I’ve talked to a lot of men and women who have gone through it. And the theme that almost always stays constant through every story is that of insecurity. The feeling that if only you weren’t so…fill in the blank…you’d have love and acceptance from someone. And because you view yourself through the lens as being broken or not enough or inadequate, you are essentially saying you aren’t worthy. Because if you could just fix those terrible things about you, you’d then be worthy of that love.

I’ve been divorced for almost 9 years. I know this internal battle well. And I know I’m not alone in feeling it. But over this past year or so, God has really been trying to teach me to rethink the source of my value. It felt like I looking in the mirror at my reflection but was wearing scratched, dirty, foggy glasses that distorted my view of myself. And God took those glasses off and started to show me how HE sees me. He started to show me the flaws in finding my worth through other people, or my skills, or my looks, or my parenting, or any other thing that was inflating my ego.

Here was the main problem with tying my worth to love or absence of love in my life:

It’s like going to someone severely in debt with no savings and asking them to evaluate your finances.

It’s like going to someone who is overweight, never gets any form of physical exercise, eats nothing but junk food and asking them to come up with a health plan for you.

It’s like asking a criminal for advice on the ethics of your choices.

Do you get the point I’m making? It’s absurd. We are all broken people. Every last one of us. So, why would we go to another broken person and assign them the responsibility of determining how much worth and value we have in this world? No person, job, skill, hobby, relationship, status should have that power over us.

Our worth should come from the only one worthy of assigning it! And good news for us, He doesn’t use the same measuring sticks that we use to determine that worth. In fact, there are no measuring sticks. We are valuable because He created us. We are valuable because He loves us.

If you’re a parent then you know what I’m talking about when I try to explain the overwhelming love you feel towards your child. You look at that child, and you know that they are the most beautiful, amazing creature you have ever laid eyes on. You can’t fully explain why or how you can possess so much love for that child, but it’s there. Because that child is yours. That child belongs to you and is a part of you. A part of your family.

If we, as flawed, sinful individuals can feel so much love towards our children then just stop to ponder how pure of a love a HOLY and RIGHTEOUS and GOOD God must have for us? It blows my mind when I really try to ponder the depths of love He must have for me. And then when I realize that He is the only one who can assign my value…I end up in tears. Because I know what He says about me….